The New Life

Well, we are in. In the new house. In the new area. In the new life we wanted for ourselves. We have set up house. We have a BBQ. We have children living next door. The stability for my child that I never had. These things feel good.
This post is about work. I seem to have always had an agent. As an actor I have been told where and when to be places. How to look. What to say. And I have to say there are moments where I am like "I don't want to be told what to do anymore EVER!" Yes, my child is a bossy pants. But I have no boss. My husband sure appreciates that I cook, clean and shop for us but he is not the boss of me that's for sure.
I do my taxes, I drink cocktails at 5pm, I fantasize about the pizza delivery boy...these are all things woman do but to not have a boss...well, I am ready to decide for myself on my time, what my art will look like. I no longer have the feeling that something is waiting for me out there. To be bought and sold in terms of demographics. I am no longer selling anything. I am creating. For me.

The New Everything

The Winds Of Change are a brewin'. I said that to a friend while walking with her and my child on a windy day to the park. Why are kids jungle jims made of metal? I totally blame myself because of course it was my fault but my child hit her head. Hard. So hard in fact I directly called an ambulance. They are always around in the area and they couldn't have been nicer. She got to ride in the ambulance. She was fine and the bump receded to my delight while we waiting to be helped. This brings me to my point. My child needs and wants my eyes on her. I want my eyes on her. I don't want to be too far. Ever. Of course much later down the line but I am it for a good 15 years. Then she will no longer need me 24/7. I will be 47. That sounds kinda hot....I guess I plan on making 47 be hot. I'm getting away from the point.
We have bought a house for us 3. We move in exactly 20 days. Its a big home with a yard and a hot tub. 4 bedrooms and a finished basement. A fancy front room, 2 fire places, and a huge kitchen. I plan on decorating a french kitchen. A meditarianan front room and dining room. An Italian back yard. A Spa like bathroom.  This is a big commitment to a home base and my family but I think it's the best most fruitful thing I've ever dedicated my life to really. I was thinking that I've never really had a home. I've rented but.....never a home to really call my own. Stability. That is something she will have.

I will be doing my writing as is such. I will be filming a T.V. show. But not for a big corporation. I'm going to do it in my car. With one camera. And will just post it on *. A channel on face book my new friends asked me to help with. So I will be able to do what I love while being available to my child. And this I discovered makes me really happy.

PMS - And how it must drive my husband nuts

There are few complaints from me but once this certain time of the month hits. Watch out. If my attention is on you and you do...pretty much anything...I will be such an asshole. There are people who are really negative, and have nothing nice to say about those they love. Don't you just hate those people? Well so do I. Yet, I become one. If I take care of myself by going to yoga and keeping myself away from stressful situations that make me think of the latest thing I'm complaining about my husband seems to come out unscathed. But if I test myself with "Hey, maybe I can be around my Mother without turning into her worst traits?" or "Hey, I should be able to take care of my child without any breaks or showers for myself?" Guess what? I become such an asshole. I become this jaded ex porn star who lives in a trailer...no offense to ex porn stars or trailer inhabitants but this is my blog and I will compare myself to who I need to to get my point across.
And since no one reads this, it is just me I'm trying to make aware of how much I am damaging my marriage by responding to perceived hurts by saving them up and letting them fly when it is PMS time. I see it coming. Like a slow train. I get all anxiety ridden. What am I gonna do this month? How ugly am I going to get?

So new project. Handle your PMS so it doesn't handle you. And keep writing, going to yoga and letting Grandma help with child care without fear my kid will start calling her Mom. Maybe I too am a delicate flower.

The Happiness Project!

My Blog is taking on a new shape this month. I've almost finished an amazing book called the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. She is a writer of large volume novels who thought one day: "Hey maybe I could be happier!" She decides to think better thoughts, get things done she's always wanted to and explore ways to make her life easier there fore freeing up time to enjoy the moments that slide by when we are stressed. Like dancing with our children in the living room, or being able to look around and go wow this world is beautiful and I'm lucky to be alive right now...it won't last forever so enjoy.

This month I'm finishing a script.
Then try to write a novel in 1 month. It doesn't have to be great, it just is a way to get the juices flowing.
Then something I've never done which is draw a 24 page comic in 24 hours. Then go to lulu.com and publish them.

This past week I've been going to film parties and the Vancouver international film fest forums which were informative especially the editor for GO, Babel, and Traffic as well as David Slade who blew my mind with his emotional intelligence. What I took from it was the importance of being able to communicate your ideas in a way that others get the info they need to help you create your vision. Some people are shy or not sure of what they want but people want to help those with a strong vision who are also flexible because they've "done enough prep that now they can work at the speed of their own thought process" David Slade said that....What a great week. Now to put it all to good use.

Simple Plan

 Beyond a simple practice of exercise, eating right, and thinking good thoughts the key is to be gentle with yourself.

Rice is kind of my nemesis. I don't own a see through pot so I can never tell when my rice is done. It's never the beautiful single grain standing on it own accord type rice. It's gummy, wet, and chewy. Or on more than one occasion, crunchy.
Whole foods has prepared Basmatic rice to enjoy when ever you want! So until rice and I come to an understanding with the aid of a see through pot I will procure my rice from Whole foods.

Of course I put a spin on it! I always try to put as many vegetable into a dish as possible. Or at least use the ones that are about start hiding in my fridge as I purchase more and more.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees

To the basmatic rice I added

2 handfuls of Purple Cabbage chopped tiny
2 small Carrots chopped tiny
and 1/4 cup or so of Pineapple chopped tiny
3 tablespoons of unsalted butter

Put everything into a round baking dish with a lid. Stir lightly then put in oven for 15-20 minutes.
The butter will melt so when you take it out make sure to stir it up again. The lid will keep the steam in until your ready to serve....and I did with steak!

Mindfullness without meditation is just a word.

Peace be with you.

Comfort Food

While I made some lunches last night for the following day I whipped up some tomato soup for myself. Whipping up means opening the box of Organic tomato soup and pouring it into a sauce pan. I added some cut up carrots that were just about to wilt and some green onion that I chopped a couple days ago that would not of made it one more day. It gives me great comfort to not waste food. I buy a ton of food from my own budget so to see it go to waste feels very frustrating. Like paying rent at a place you never stay.

Organic Tomato soup
2 small organic carrots - chopped
handful of chopped green onion
3 cubes of cheddar cheese


I brought the soup to a boil and then let it rest then reboiled it to make sure the carrots were nicely soft and incorporated into the soup. I added the cheese cause it was left over from the sandwiches and poof. A creamy, vegetarian dish made just for me, by me. I take great care of myself. And I'm very happy when I do. You see when I take care of me I'm much better at being a Mom.

Food Fetish

Delicate flower and I are Hollandaise connoisseurs and we are snobby about it. Rarely venturing out of White spot or De Dutch for our fix we sadly spend many a nights not ingesting this thick, buttery, tangy french sauce.
Then last night I attempted and soared above the chefs that must make this sauce in huge batches.

Hollandaise sauce - I took the recipe from food networks website. With of course my improvisation technique. You see what the heck does a 0.670 of a cup look like? 

• 0.670 cup unsalted butter
• 3 egg, yolks
• 1 tablespoon water
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• salt
• 1 pinch pepper

Directions

1. Remove 2 tablespoons (25 mL) of the butter and keep cold in refrigerator. In small saucepan, melt remaining butter; keep warm.
2. In heavy-bottomed saucepan or in stainless steel bowl, whisk egg yolks until thickened and pale. Whisk in water and lemon juice. Add 1 tablespoon (15 mL) of the cold butter.
3. Set saucepan over low heat or place bowl over saucepan pf 1 1/2- inches (4 cm) barely simmering water; whisk until bottom of pan can be seen between whisks and wires of whisk become lightly coated, 1 to 2 minutes.
4. Remove from heat, immediately whisk in remaining cold butter to stop the cooking of the yolks.
5. By driblets, whisk in enough of the melted butter to thicken to consistency of whipping cream. Increasing amount of butter slightly, whisk in remaining butter.
6. Season with salt and pepper.

I ended up using more melted butter, a dash more lemon and salt and no pepper. The secret of the sauce I felt laid in the WHISK. Mine was a large one that had loosey goosey wires.  Big like a real french chef would use but with a plastic handle in blue!
I got excited while whipping the egg yolks to a faded color. Just the act of it self brought me immense pleasure. Doing something I've never tried, seeing it succeed before my eyes. Instant gratification.
When asked for a quote my delicate flower of a husband simply stated "A creamy, tangy.....that made me...." Perverted hand gesture followed to emphasize his choice. Ah my delicate flower.

For the meal I made turkey patties

Organic ground turkey - 1 pound
1/2 cup of broccoli tops - chopped up fine
vegetable seasoning, basil, rosemary, anything you desire.
3 slices of cheese loaf bread crumbled
1 egg
1 stalk of celery - chopped
Olive oil - lots heated to just before smoking

Using my hands I combined everything till it's totally mixed and gummy
Using a heavy bottomed wide fry pan I heated up oil and then added the turkey patties I had formed with my hand. Cooking so they are fully cooked and slightly crispy on each side.
Transfer to paper towels

Plate some mashed

2 Sweet potato's
3 Regular potato's
1 large yam
Butter, and some more butter

Make a well in the potato's and put some Hollindaise into it.
Place some of the turkey patties on the side and enjoy.

This was a huge success for me. Small and attainable in such a useful way.